A bum walks into an up-scale bar in the city, the barman looks up and seeing the bum yells,"Get out of here ya filthy bum! We don't serve your kind here!" The bum replies, "I just want a toothpick sir and I'll leave." The barman thinks it over for a second and gives the bum the toothpick, reasoning that if that's all it'll take to get rid of him it's well worth the toothpick, "Now get lost and don't come back!"

Five minutes later another bum walks in the bar and receives the same warm from the barman. The bum replies again that all he wants is a toothpick and he'll leave. The, by now, confused and irritated barman gives the bum the toothpick and says, "Right now bugger off and tell ya mates there'll be no more toothpicks from now on!" The bum leaves and peace is restored to the bar again.........

Another five minutes later and another bum enters the bar and the barman goes berserk, " Get the f#@k out of here ya filthy barstard and ya can forget trying to get a toothpick either, now PISS OFF!" The bum takes a startled look at the bartender and says, "But I don't want a toothpick I want a straw sir!" "Right that's it!" says the barman, "what the hell is going on? Two of you buggers have already been in here for toothpicks and now you want a straw! You wont get one till you tell me what you want it for!", as his eyes almost pop out of his head.................


"Well it's like this," relies the bum," some fella's been sick outside but someone's already got the best bits!"

not even funny

delightfull....juuuuust delightfull


davo

Sorry 58bernie, can't please everyone I guess. And d3v1l, what can I say, It's a gift.

I just threw up in my mouth.

"I just threw up in my mouth." x2

Are you saving on toothpicks

hahaha

Young bloke is having problems with his di*k turning yellow....
He goes to the doctor who is perplexed by the problem as there seems no medical reason for his condition......
Doctor asks if it may be a product of his work environment....
kid says well it can't be I am on the dole...
Doc says ok then how do you fill in your day?
Kid thinks for a while and shrugs his shoulders and says well not much really mostly I sit on the couch eating twisties and watching porn......